This will be a series (this won’t be a series) where i pin point one particular subject I like about myself whether it’s physical, emotional or mental.
It sounds conceited but honestly there was a time where I could just name all the negative things about myself (I still can I’m kind of a dick but I mean… that’s okay I’m not just going to ignore the bad things about myself we all have good and bad traits) and lately I’ve been feeling positive about myself and it’s fucking cool, so today’s subject is going to be about: Creativity.
What i’m doing right now obviously doesn’t showcase my creativity and I always like to say that I have no talent but I do have talent- I can cook and if I wanted to I could be a chef, I was heading that way until I realise I hated catering; I cook for myself and I enjoy trying new recipes, my catering teacher in school saw potential in me, I don’t do well under pressure and got a bad grade in my exam but was able to retake it and was given recipes that were more complex and I was actually given a bit of guidance during my exam, in my teacher’s exact words “I let you retake this exam because you’re really talented and the recipes you chose didn’t showcase your abilities, these recipes are highly skilled, complex and may be challenging but I believe you can handle it” She didn’t say those exact words I was paraphrasing because I don’t remember what was said, give me a break it was 5 (6) years ago, my point is Catering is something I am skilled at it’s just a shame it didn’t make me happy.
I love to write what I’m doing right now is therapeutic, writing poems is also very therapeutic and relaxing to me; I don’t know if it stems from me liking to read books but I’ve always felt connected to writing and it has always helped me stay creative and makes me happy, it’s something I like and that I’m good at, if only I could get into a writing course or something to do in the writing field because whenever I don’t write for a long time i feel disconnected and start to get discouraged I would also like to push myself and to take my writing in a different route.
I didn’t actually realise until yesterday when I was writing my feelings to pass the time that it makes me feel like myself, I feel connected and relieved so writing is something that holds a place in my heart and will help me when things get rough and I feel down or lonely.
Everyone should appreciate things that they do and should feel positive about themselves, we can all be a little hard on ourselves and liking yourself is considered ‘self centred’ or ‘conceited’ it’s strange because being cynical is considered normal I especially thought that way for a while and although I may have bad days and may be hard on myself, I should always remind myself that I’m fucking awesome and shouldn’t feel bad about feeling so.